Icebreakers

Icebreakers for one-on-ones

Openers for one-on-one meetings between a manager and a member of their team — questions that start a real conversation rather than a status report.

10 questionsA regular one-on-one of thirty minutes or so.
Other occasions

The questions, and why each one works

  1. What is taking up most of your head this week?
    • It lets the other person set the topic. What is on their mind is usually what the meeting should be about.
  2. What has been the best and the worst part of your week?
    • Two halves make it safe to mention the bad part, which is the part a manager most needs to hear.
  3. What could I do that would make your job easier?
    • Asked sincerely and acted on, it is the question that builds trust fastest.
  4. How do you like to get feedback — straight away, or saved for these meetings?
    • Worth asking early. It saves months of feedback arriving in a way the person hates.
  5. What does a good week look like for you?
    • You learn what the person values and what gets in its way.
  6. What are you hoping to get better at this year?
    • It moves the one-on-one from this week to the longer run, without the stiffness of a review.
  7. Is there anything you have been meaning to tell me?
    • Some things only come out when asked directly. Then wait — the pause matters.
  8. How is your energy, from one to ten?
    • Quick, and a drop over a few weeks is an early warning worth noticing.
  9. What is one thing outside work you are looking forward to?
    • A reminder that the person has a life, and an easy way to warm up.
  10. What would you like these meetings to be for?
    • Ask it in the first one-on-one and every few months after. The meeting belongs to the other person as much as you.

How to run it

Ask one question, then listen. In a one-on-one the opener is not a warm-up before the agenda — it often is the agenda.

Let the other person choose what to talk about. Your list can wait for the last ten minutes.

Write down what they said and bring it back next time. “Last week you said the release was worrying you” shows you were listening.

What to leave out

Starting with a status update

Status belongs in a written update or the team meeting. Starting with it turns the one-on-one into a report.

Questions that sound like a performance review

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” in a weekly one-on-one puts people on guard.

The same question every week, read off a list

People can tell. Vary it, and follow what they say.

Questions

What is a good question to start a one-on-one?

“What is taking up most of your head this week?” It lets the other person set the topic.

Should one-on-ones have an agenda?

A light one. Many teams keep a shared list both people add to — see the one-on-one template.

How do I open a first one-on-one with a new manager?

Ask what they would like the meetings to be for, and tell them how you like to get feedback.

Icebreakers for other meetings

Team meetingsQuestions for the start of a regular team meeting — short enough for a weekly habit, and useful enough that the answers matter.Virtual meetingsIcebreakers built for video calls: ones that use the camera and the chat, survive a bad connection, and do not leave long silences.Welcoming a new team memberIcebreakers for the week someone joins: they help the new person learn how the team works, without putting them on the spot.Workshops and trainingIcebreakers for the start of a workshop or training day, chosen because the answers tell the person running it what the room needs.Large groupsIcebreakers for thirty people or more — all-hands, town halls, big classes — where going round the room is impossible.Project kickoffsIcebreakers for the first meeting of a project, where every answer is also useful information for the work ahead.

Every occasion →

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